The Lily Flower
by whirlwinds of watercolours
Summary: He kept a reminder of her in his pocket for the ten years he had known her, until the very end.


**Title: The Lily Flower**

**Summary: A series of moments from Severus Snape's life, centering around Lily Evans.**

**Author: Memento Vivere**

**Rating: T for angst.**

**Word Count: 1748**

**A/N: Written for the School Subjects Competition: Arithmancy; and the Chinese Moon Festival Competition: Separation Slice.**

**This idea was partially inspired from Horace Slughorn's goldfish, Francis, and Agatha Christie's ****_Absent in the Spring_.**

**The following events take place in chronological order, and before each time skip, there'll be a line break. I'm sorry if Snape is a bit OOC-ish, because it's my first time writing him.**

* * *

"Tuney, look at this. Watch what I can do."

Severus Snape observed the scene with interest as Lily Evans held out the flower to show her sister. From behind the bush, he had a clear view of the entire playground, allowing him to see what was happening between the two sisters.

The flower sat in Lily's hand, perfectly ordinary and innocent-looking, but Petunia Evans shrieked and shrank away from the blossom, as if fearful of it. Indeed, something strange was happening to the flower: it was opening and closing its petals, resembling a queer goldfish.

Upon hearing her sister's complaint, Lily threw the flower back to the ground, where it fluttered in the breeze before gently touching the earth. Severus, listening to their conversation, could no longer contain himself from interrupting.

"It's obvious, isn't it?" His sudden appearance startled both Lily and Petunia, and the latter ran back to the swings, while the former stayed where she was, clearly surprised.

Severus took a deep breath, and with flushed excitement, begin telling what he had been planning to share for a long time, ever since he discovered Lily was a witch.

But everything went wrong. The next few minutes passed in a blur, and Severus was left standing, alone, in the playground, staring at the back of the two retreating girls.

He stooped down, and carefully picked up the flower Lily had left on the ground.

* * *

Severus sat on his bed, twirling the stalk of the flower between his thumb and forefinger.

_Lilium bulbiferum. _That was the name of the flower; he had found out from one of his mother's books. How fitting it was, a lily with bright, vibrant colours, and a Lily Evans, with a head of brilliant red hair.

He would find a safe place to keep it, prevent it from decomposing. He had found a small, clear jar in the kitchen and filled it with clean water, where he would keep the lily safe. Of course, it would take a little bit of magic as well, but Severus was confident in his abilities.

He ran his fingers across the petals, caressing the flower.

* * *

Two Hogwarts student sat down by the lake, enjoying the cooling breeze.

"Severus?" Lily Evans asked hesitantly, her voice wavering with uncertainty.

"Yes, Lily?" Severus Snape asked, enjoying the way she pronounced his name.

"You're... you're sure that being a Muggle-born won't affect anything at all, right?"

Severus sighed. They had been over this a few dozen times, yet Lily was still not convinced. She had already had a preconceived notion that all students with magical blood were better than those without, all thanks to his new Slytherin friends who took every chance to mock her about it.

"Yes, I'm sure, Lily." Severus tried to put in as much confidence as he could muster into his voice.

She nodded. "Good," she said, sounding slightly more relieved. There was still a note of uneasiness in her voice, however.

"Severus?"

"Yes, Lily?" he asked wryly, amused.

"You... you would never call me the M word, right?"

Severus nodded. "I promise I won't, Lily." He reached within his robes, where he had concealed the jar with the lily, and traced the lid absentmindedly. "You have my word."

For the first time since the Sorting a few days ago, Severus saw Lily smile. "Thank you."

* * *

"I'm sorry."

Severus stared at Lily apologetically, willing her to forgive him.

"I'm not interested."

Lily's tone of voice was harsh and unforgiving. It was clear to him that she was not going to forget this anytime soon.

"I'm sorry!"

"Save your breath," she snapped. "I only came out because Mary told me you were threatening to sleep here."

Severus stared at her pleadingly. He would have done that - he was willing to sleep in front of the Gryffindor Tower, if Lily refused to forgive him. "I was. I would have done. I never meant to call you Mudblood, it just–" he stuttered, but was cut off.

"Slipped out?" she asked in a scathing voice. "It's too late. I've made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious Death Eater friends - you see, you don't even deny it! You don't even deny that's what you're all aiming to be! You can't wait to join You-Know-Who, can you? I can't pretend anymore. You've chosen your way, I've chosen mine."

"No – listen, I didn't mean–" He tried to speak, but his mouth was dry and his tongue seemed to be stuck.

"–to call me Mudblood? But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?"

And with that, Lily turned and climbed back through the portrait hole.

He stared after her, wishing he could take back everything, wishing he could rewind back to the time when they were best friends, back to the time of innocence, when everything was simple...

Long after the portrait hole closed, shutting him out, he still stood numbly in the corridor, hand clenched around the jar of the lily he kept in his pocket.

* * *

The wedding of James Potter and Lily Evans was a joyous occasion.

Well, to all except Severus Snape.

He hovered outside the church, watching the ceremony through the window. He had not, and did not, expect to be invited by Lily, after what happened those years ago. He had broken a promise to her, and he deserved to be punished for it.

But not by this way.

A wave of bitter resentment washed over him as he watched Lily, _his _Lily, throw her arms around Potter, while others around them clapped and laughed in joy. Lily herself pulled out of Potter's embrace, laughing gaily along with the rest of them.

He turned away, feeling bile rise up his throat. He could not bear to watch the scene before him anymore.

He took out the jar of the lily as he walked further and further away from the church.

* * *

"My Lord," Severus bowed his head respectfully as he entered the room.

"Yes, Severus?" Lord Voldemort stood with his back to him, fingering his wand lovingly as he stared out of the window, planning the murder of the Potters.

"I–I have a request." He swallowed, praying that the Gods were in his favour that day.

"A request?" A hint of cold amusement coloured his tone – Death Eaters did not usually make any requests to him. "Do continue, Severus."

"Please, my Lord, spare–spare Lily Evans."

A cruel laugh escaped Lord Voldemort's lips. "We shall see, shall we?" he asked mockingly. "I can give her a chance. It's up to her to take it, or..." his red eyes gleamed maliciously in the dim light, "leave it."

Severus was not reassured by his words. With barely-suppressed panic, another quick bow, and a "Yes, my Lord", he left the room.

He was going to find Albus Dumbledore.

* * *

Halloween was not a pleasant day for Severus Snape.

Kids ran around the street, cheering for candy and laughing with their friends. Their happiness was a sharp contrast to what Severus felt: dreariness. There was an icy-cold feeling in the pit of his stomach, and he had a horrible feeling that today was not going to bring any good news.

He paced around his room for hours, annoyed by the sound of children running up and down the street, shouting and yelling in a carefree manner outside his home in Spinner's End. Granted, it was a little less populated than other areas, but Severus would have preferred a desolated place to live. But he could not bring himself to move out of Spinner's End: it was the place where he met Lily Evans.

Apprehensiveness was like Fiendfyre, spreading and chewing on every part of his body until he felt like screaming from frustration and anxiety. Reaching into his coat pocket, he pulled out the jar of the flower, which he had managed to keep fresh for the past decade. Watching the flower always had a calming effect on him: it made him feel that a small part of Lily still belonged to him, and not Potter.

He stared at the bright, golden lily, the dread increasing tenfold.

No! It could not be. Why was the tip of that petal black? He had taken care of the flower well, how... how...

He peered closer at the flower, and felt his blood run cold.

For the black mark on the flower was a tiny skull, and a snake protruding out of its mouth.

The message could not have been any clearer.

* * *

Godric's Hollow was well lit by moonlight. The shriek of an unused gate pierced the silence of the night air, and Severus Snape stepped into the graveyard.

His footsteps were deliberately slow and measured. Snow crunched under his boots and he walked, the only giveaway that he was, in fact, not part of the shadows, but a real, live person.

Although, he hardly felt like one.

Stopping in front of a freshly dug grave, he stared at the name on the headstone. _Lily Potter. _A dozen different emotions churned through him all at once, almost suffocating him. Anger. Sadness. Hopelessness. Resentment. Harshness. Regret. So many of them...

He wanted to say so many things to her. He wanted to tell her that he hated her, for choosing James Potter over him all those years ago. He wanted to apologize to her, for informing Lord Voldemort of the prophecy. He wanted to berate her, for sacrificing herself when she could have lived...

But no words came out.

Instead, his shaking hand reached into his pocket, and he pulled out the lily flower without its container. The lily, deprived of water and magic for the past few days, was now shriveled up and tiny, compared to when Severus saw it almost a decade ago.

His fingers closed around the flower, making the petals even more crumpled, before they relaxed, dropping his very last reminder of Lily Evans onto the gravestone.

Even without it, he knew that he would always be reminded of her, everywhere and anywhere he went.

"Always, Lily," he whispered, his voice a soft caress in the wind. He turned away from the grave, back to the gate. Before Apparating, he cast one last glance at the gravestone boring Lily Evans's name. He knew that this was going to be the first and last time he visited her.

"Always."

* * *

**Any room for improvement?**

**~Avelin**


End file.
